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Year: 2011
Directors: Joe Zerull
Writers: Hanlon Smith-Dorsey / Joe Zerull
IMDB: link
Trailer: link
Review by: agentorange
Rating: 8 out of 10
A janitor walks into a bar on Christmas eve, covered in blood and smelling like sh!%... wait, have you heard this one? No? Well damn, you'd better get yourself a copy of A Cadaver Christmas and get a load of the punchline. It's a double barreled blast of absurdity and savvy, low-budget horror filmmaking that makes it destined for cult Christmas status.
Made for a reported $7,000 dollars, A Cadaver Christmas makes the most of a lean budget by turning amateur filmmaking into an art form. From the hallmark scratching and underexposing of the film to the theatrical line-delivery, the movie seems like an unearthed gore flick from another time that some boutique label like Severin would release. In fact, if during the first 10 minutes you had told me that A Cadaver Christmas was a lost Canadian horror movie from the early 80s it would have taken me ten more before I realized it wasn't (the quick nod to Jason Eisner's Treevenge would probably have tipped me off).
Imagine it's Christmas Eve: When the cadavers at Mt. Peacemore University start walking the halls, it’s up to the school’s janitor to mop up the mess. But dealing with the undead may be a job even the best janitor can’t keep under control. After fleeing to a local bar the Janitor recruits a fat bartender, a depressed drunk, a disgraced cop and his creepy necro perp to go back in and take care of business so Christmas can go on in the town.
Armed with nothing but oddly effective holiday decorations they re-kill the cadavers, and save the world... all by Christmas morning. And like every good Zombie Christmas movie, they also learn a little about friendship and the holiday spirit along the way.
See this guy below? He's my hero.

He's The Janitor and he excels at cleaning crap and kicking cadaver ass. He's played to insane, ultra-serious comic perfection by Daniel Rairdin-Hale (who also co-wrote and produced the film) and his face is always dripping blood. Know why? Because he's a non-stop cadaver killing machine who shows no mercy.
The comedy in A Cadaver Christmas ranges from broad slapstick to subtle absurdity and the jokes seem to get funnier as the film progresses which is good because once the characters get back to the University it's fairly standard story-wise. There's a particularly funny scene where a sentimental conversation takes place between a drunk and an unconscious Janitor.
Do deck the halls with blood and guts and check out A Cadaver Christmas (you can pick up a copy on the film's website) And remember: They're not zombies, they're cadavers!
Keep your eyes on Quiet Earth for more Cadaver Christmas awesomness including an interview with director Joe Zerull and special cadaver contest.
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